The first snow

The light around my home the last few days has been breathtaking. It’s the end of October, so the sun is not plentiful. The days are shorter, and it’s more our notoriously cloudy time. I appreciate every moment of sunlight so much.

I’ve spent these days chasing golden hour, sunset, and blue hour around my home with my phone in hand, never able to appreciate it enough. It’s the feeling of winter. Short days and beautiful light. Contrasts of warm and cool - colours and temperatures.

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I spent last night on tour under a gorgeous clear sky. By the time I woke up in the morning, everything was white. Our first snow had arrived, and now it’s almost 16 hours later around 2:30 in the morning and the snow has not stopped. Maybe some 5-8cm has fallen. It was a night off for me tonight, and still I’m a night owl - of course.

This snow day has filled my heart with such overwhelming love. My breakfast and slow morning coffee, my computer work beside the window on the sofa, and my errands out in town all felt so much more of my pace and my world. Every moment today felt like how life should feel like. Cosy, quiet, slow and completely in love. Out my window now, the sky and neighbourhood glow in that magical bright white light that only fresh snow and snow clouds can give. Little fox prints surround my place outside, and inside, my radiators creak as they heat and cool off. I just don’t want to go to bed because this welcoming of winter is much too beautiful to miss a moment of.

Pain from the north

The wind here is unrelenting. It’s magical on those 30° summer nights, but that seems a world away still. For now, it remains painful on my hands and ears. A reminder of the north.

Walks through a hilly neighbourhood and up into the mountains gives a little peace to my mind, and the opportunity for endless nose sniffling out loud. I stop at a backyard to give the most beautiful cat some love through it’s fence. And then cross the steps into the nature trails, passing the sign that warns of rattlesnakes. I hate snakes.

The skies here never stay the same. Sunset and twilight over the mountains feels so magical. It’s an intense feeling. The sunset kept changing to become more and more beautiful. For only minutes, low fast moving clouds would light up in pink sunlight against varying depths of blues, and then so quickly those clouds lost their pink. It was magic.

I was taking the same photo over and over again, convinced each one was the most beautiful. These are good evenings, but I can’t wait until it’s truly warm and my ears don’t hurt in the wind.

A breath of fresh air

Rains

Waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of a pouring BC rain through a cracked open window is just so beyond perfect. I wish I could go back to that moment over and over and over again.

Of course it’s easy to be so in love with the BC rain when you’re away from it for the better part of a decade. It’s the low cloud, misty, constantly drizzling sort of weather that I do deeply miss after a winter of -40 and endless ice and snow.

"Of course it's easy to be so in love with the BC rain when you're away from it for the better part of a decade."

Walks through the forests reawakened my senses. I dug my fingers into every rain-soaked moss, ran my hands through massive ferns, and stared completely mesmerized at their newest fronds still wound tightly. I must have touched hundreds of leaves, every branch within arms reach, transferred every little water droplet hanging off the edge of a leaf onto my finger.
The most delicate leaves bounced at the impact of raindrops and light gusts of wind. The sweet forest smells overwhelmed me in ways I could never describe. They stopped me dead in my tracks. I became obsessed.

It was not just a reawakening of my senses, but of my soul too. Every walk, I never wanted to leave.

What's good isn't only happy

April 14 at last, -23°

Ethiopian one last time for dinner because there could be no better ending than that. Back home, it felt like forever laying on my back. Just staring at my ceiling, but I eventually fell asleep on my old sofa. The northern lights still danced outside every window. The serenade was of course perfect too.

A restless night ended to low, orange sunlight pouring in the windows. I made a small, spacey walk around the house running my fingers along random walls. I held back tears for all of about 4 seconds inside my long idling car, and finally pulled away for the last time, looking back more times than I can remember.

Running into the night

Just 2 nights before the movers would come to take everything and I had the kitchen turned completely upside down. Cardboard boxes, tissue paper, kraft paper and bubble wrap were everywhere. Dishes pulled off every shelf and out of every cabinet. Total chaos.

The kitchen lights were bright and harsh overhead.

There was so much more to be taken care of, but out of nowhere and in a moment, I broke. It was like I just became paralyzed standing there in the kitchen. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t pack another dish. Everything just hit me.

All at once I became so overwhelmed with heaviness, I just dropped the packing paper I was holding onto the floor, wiped my eyes with my sleeves, grabbed my phone, flicked the kitchen light switch off and went down the stairs. I changed my nightie for not nearly warmth enough clothing still. I flung my camera bag over my shoulder, picked up my tripod and drove immediately out into the countryside.

It was the fastest and most careless I’ve ever left the house. Like I just couldn’t be another minute more there and I had to get out.

"It was like I just became paralyzed standing there in the kitchen."

The wind outside was violent. It was gusting 53km/h, but who knows how much worse it was completely open across a lake. It felt especially fitting.

As soon as I cracked the car door open, the wind would grab it and try to fling it hard back, and if I stepped out to try to stop it, the wind would just push me against the door fully extended too. The gusts easily caught me and slid me back along the ice. It howled around my parka and ruffled the fur of my hood. I felt it intensely against my body through my clothes. It was freezing, but the exact kind of raw, numbness I needed right then.